Truth Be Told...

I love sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. I don't care if I see anyone, or anything. I just really like to be at home. I think it's actually really bad how much of a homebody I've become. I used to love going out with people and doing things even if it was just going out to the bar to get hammered. And when I stopped going out it was purely a monetary reason. It costs way too much to go out and drink so why not stay in and do it? So I started to do that but my friends still wanted to go out every damn weekend, I'm sorry I do not make enough money to be able to afford that. I never actually could afford it.

I only went out so much because I was pleasing my friends then one day I woke up and said fuck it, I'm going to do what I want. That was, staying in and not doing a lot. And then that grew into extreme homebodiness, that's not even a word but it's what happened. I don't even try to make up excuses anymore I just say flat out I don't want to go out tonight

Is there something wrong with me?

I'm feeling conflicted. Like maybe I should just go out next time I'm invited but I know I don't want to, so why should I do something just because I know it will make others happy. I mean I love seeing my friends happy, but if it's going to cost me $100 I'm not sure I want to be doing that.

I don't even know if I should really be feeling bad about enjoying staying in so much. I've spent a lot of money on my house lately and I want to enjoy it.

I'm obviously confused about this.